I’m no longer apologizing for my inability to consistently post. I guess that’s not really what this blog is for. I should also change the name of this blog seeing as I am no longer in London. I will however be moving to a different state and that will be an adventure I hope to document on here.
This blog post will be about a bit of everything. As you all know, this year was my last in undergrad and I am officially finished. I will be graduating next week on May 29th with Chimamandah Adichie as my commencement speaker. I cannot think of a more fitting end to my college career as my love for Adichie’s works and the woman is borderline fanatic.
This academic year has been challenging and oh so rewarding both academically and socially. My first three years of college, I thought I’d found my best friends and sisters, many of them older than me, not knowing there was more waiting for me. I found friendships with people that three years ago I would never have seen. They’ve been such a formative part of my final year of college and they are friendships that will last beyond the 500 acres of our campus. My friends are truly amazing people and I am so happy to have them in my life.
Academically, I’ve finally completed my Neuroscience major and managed to squeeze in an Africana Studies minor as well. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have majored in Neuroscience but it has made me a much stronger student. It’s shown me what I can do…and what I cannot. In my minor, I’ve found my passion for the continent of my birth and a need to change it. I am idealistic but you need that. I am going to miss these two completely different departments.
Lastly, in my final semester of college I fell into something, which is really the best way to describe this thing I am in. Funny thing about going to a high school where the beauty standard is not you can be slightly damaging to the ego. Going to a PWI, a women’s college at that, can also really screw with one’s romantic life. To say my romantic life has been a shit show would be an understatement but it’s college and each experience was a learning one. I’ve evolved in my taste, expectations, etc. First year me would be shocked at senior year me.
This current thing. It came out of no where. It is complicated. It is messy. It is entirely unexpected and I do not know where it is going. I like to control things. I want to know where it is going especially since my life is changing drastically in a little over two weeks. I am entirely nervous about it because you know people are generally shit and I’m not trying to have another week like the one in London when I stayed in bed and did not eat and was generally miserable over some douchebag. I don’t think this one means to be a douchebag but sometimes he is. I think he’s equally as confused as I am about what he wants. He talks a lot though. But talk is not action ya know?
I mean it could be nothing. This could all end up fizzling out in the upcoming week, month, six months, year who knows. My life is changing. I don’t think he gets that. My life is changing. How do you fit into that change? Do you come with me or are you left behind? A part of me wants to quit but I think I’m emotionally invested. That is the absolute worst part of this. The investment. I should write a separate post about him. He’s important I guess.